The Consolation Prize

Many years ago, I had a friend. Growing up, he was originally a friend of my older brother and my personal tormentor. Whether it was stealing my bike and throwing it onto the top of the garage where I couldn't get it, tearing the flowers off my mother's gladiolas and then proceeding to beat myself and my friends with the stems, all the while telling us that we were "Jewish swine", (never mind the fact that I was a Irish Protestant) or causually one by one would burn my beloved "Wiggle Strings", (long story), he was terrible and I hated him. I mean, this was the guy who thought dressing up as a Nazi was funny. This of course was my Grandma Sullivan's first impression of him. Needless to say, she developed a deep mistrust and dislike of him immediately. He also took it upon himself to tie my Grandma Jones up with rope, as she was sitting up sleeping in the recliner. Upon awakening, she began screaming for help, thinking that someone had robbed the house and abducted me. He was, as she would later say...a JERK. She did however grow to love him, as another grandchild and he even served as a pall-bearer at her funeral.

Years passed and after my brother got married and was no longer allowed to hang out with him, (because my brother's new wife didn't like him either), I became his "CONSOLATION PRIZE". If he didn't have someone else to go with him, wherever it was that he wanted to go, I got called along for the ride. Whenever he got drunk and needed someone to come and pick him up, I'm the one that got that call. When he would be lonely and none of his regular friends were around, I was the one he called and harassed and convinced to come watch a movie with him. Even though, he would became angry with me for not wanting to have a "special friendship", which included sexual perks for him. He just couldn't understand that I didn't feel that way towards him.

For many years, I responded to his pet name for me, "Sow". Even in public. When he would be drunk and obnoxious, I took the blunt of the humilation from his jokes, in front of his "regular friends". Whenever he would get a new girlfriend in his life, I was cast out until she dumped him and then suddenly, it was acceptable to have me as his friend again.

But time marched on and one by one, his friends grew up, got married, had children and once again, he leaned back on "Good Ol' Sally", my new affectionate name, instead of Sow. He was softening and was no longer my tormenter, but my friend. I still had my feelings of being jilted though.

He would take off to Europe to accompany his "real friends", a punk band called, "Sloppy Seconds". I fed his cat, cut his grass, brought in the mail, and cleaned his house. When other bands would stop in Indy and stay at his house, "The Muffs and the "Trash Brats" are just two that I remember, "Good Ol' Sally" would come down and clean the house, after the party was over.

When he had surgery on his foot and no one else was around and he was really depressed, in pain and treating anyone that came near him shitty, I was the one that came and visited him, babied him, cooked him dinner and listened to his punishment. When it was all over and he was well, he went back to his "regular friends" and I went back to my home and waited anxiously until the next time I heard from him.

We saw the Ramones together. Were in the mosh pit with one another. We both loved Europe, although we never went together. We laughed about the same things, and had the same twisted, disgusting sense of humor. We went and seen the drawings of John Lennon. And when Paul McCartney was in concert, we saw him together. And as I cried when Paul sang "Yesterday", he was there to put his arm around me and hug me.

My husband got used to me taking off to take care of this big baby and even got used to his antics. Like the time he locked himself out of his house and walked down to my house to stay until his roomate got home....in his underwear. Imagine my now ex-husband's shock upon finding this guy in his living room, in his underwear, in the middle of winter, reading a newspaper and watching t.v. The did eventually become very good friends and worked together on his house and on various projects.

When I got my divorce, he was one of my only friends that took my side and didn't turn against me. When my dad died, he was one of the first people I called and he was there for me in a way, not many other people were. When I became pregnant, not once, but twice by the biggest creep in the world, he was there for me. He's my daughter's godfather and he served as a proxy for my son's baptism, when his godparents weren't able to make it in from Ireland.

When he met his wife, I was thrilled for him. I liked her, unlike so many of the other bitches he dated. I went to the Rathskeller for their reception, even though I wasn't invited to the wedding itself, because it was for "immediate family only". I danced with the bride and upon her decision to have a child for him, despite the fact that both of her boys were nearly grown, I was overcome with emotion and wrote her a letter, telling her how wonderful I thought she was.

However, the time came when she either grew jealous of her husband's relationship with me, despite that it never became sexual or for whatever reason, but it has now been over 4 months since I last heard from him and that was after he told me that she would not allow him to come over to my house to fix my back porch ceiling, which had caved in. He then made it sound as if, he wouldn't be allowed to come over at all, because he didn't want to "upset her". Even though they have a rental house down the street from me that he regularly has to stop by to pick up rent or to make repairs to.

Now, I feel as if a piece of my own self is missing. Once again, I have been cast aside. I'm not even a "Consolation Prize" anymore. I'm a no one in his life. And I miss my friend. :(