Weird Sh!t

Sometimes, I have days where I just don't understand the meaning of life. Today is one of those days. The kids and I got up this morning and went to mass as usual. We went out to Sunday dinner at the China Buffet and came home. My son Dylan was to give a performance at church today and I was supposed to have him there at 2:30. So, I set my alarm for 2:20 and laid down for a nap. I don't know what happened, but I didn't wake up until 3:10. Talk about feeling like an ass!


I knew he had another performance at 6, and my ex said that he would drive him there. But the bad news was that in order to see our own son perform, we were going to have to buy tickets and there weren't any left. :( So, I missed seeing him perform. I tried to convince myself that there was a reason, or several of them, as to why I had overslept, through the alarm. I've developed anemia since my surgery and even though I take my vitamins, I'm still tired. I guess it doesn't help matters that I worked a double shift yesterday either.


And then....my mental status has REALLY been tested this past week. A few days ago, I forwarded a mean e-mail that I received, (about Ann Coulter), to an ex-boyfriend of mine. This e-mail came from an author that he and I both like. I knew that he was madly in love with Ann, so I sent it to him, to be funny. He sends a message back to me, that said he was broken hearted and that he had a dream about me the previous night. So, I sent him another e-mail, questioning whether he was broken hearted over the nasty view I had forwarded him, or because he had a dream about me. He never answered. What's so strange about all of this, is the night he supposedly had this "dream", I had stayed up looking at pictures of us and was missing him terribly. Karma? I doubt it. I don't believe in Karma. Well...maybe, but I'm not sure.


So, just out of missing him, I decide to run his sign-on name on Google and it showed all of these "singles" boards that he belonged to and get this....about three of them were for mail order brides from the Philippines! Please don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to him marrying someone from another country or even of another race, but there's just something about the whole "mail order" thing that makes my stomach turn. And not just because it's him, but for anyone who does it. I've heard stories about this barely legal girls being brought over and used for sex slaves, etc., and I'm wondering, why? Why would he be on one of these lists? Is he desperate? Supposedly he has another girlfriend, (possibly fiancee), that he's living with. I reminded myself that I met him on a singles board, but after seeing pictures of these girls, I literally felt sick to my stomach. Why does this bother me so much?


To make matters worse, while I was working my double shift last night, one of the dispatchers came by to visit an officer that has been on light duty and working the desk with me. She's a really nice lady and quite funny. She knows my another ex-boyfriend of mine (who is the father of my two youngest children) and decided to share information with me about him. I knew that he was seeing one of the dispatchers at MECA, but he's been doing a hell of a lot more than just seeing her, and apparently it involves more than one woman at a time. It involves him getting some girl on girl action. Again, I am completely repulsed by all of this. Why? Why do I give a shit what these two ex-boyfriends do? Every time I think of them, I want to run and take a hot shower and scrub my body with a loofah sponge.



I don't know what has got into me over the past few days, but all of this being tired and finding out weird, perverted shit about my ex's has really put me in a depressing mood. It didn't help matters that, as I walking down to visit my mom tonight, I fell on the ice and split my hand open. I'm off to another hot shower and then to bed. This week is going to be fun filled, no matter what. My kids are off from school for Christmas break and I get to be with them ALL week!! I'm determined to enjoy every minute of it. :)